The Secret Life of a Fag Called Frank

Well, daughter #2 is all safe and sound back in Nashville. I drove her there early this morning.

It has been a very emotional day. It actally began last night....and I felt very blue. I could feel the sadness and depression creeping in, much like a fog rolling in from a body of water in the spring.

As we headed to the airport, my daugher grabbed my hand and held it.

Tightly.

We had a long uninterrupted conversation about things...including the divorce
...and my gayness.

She spoke of my "secret life" -- that one that I kept hidden from my wife.

I asked "what secrets?"

She said, "It's like when I have my computer on and I turn the screen so they can't see what's on it."

I responded, "The reason I turn my screen is for fear that someone has sent me something that will be offensive to you...such as a picture of someone naked....or a pornographic picture......or any number of other things that I'm trying to respect you and keep you from seeing. "

She then went on to discuss how very troubling this was for her....and how it had to trouble their mother.

So based on this, I should have printed out all the pictures that anyone has ever sent and passed them around the supper table for open table discussion. Perhaps I should have discussed my favorite sexual positions or what it is that I really like to do between the sheets!

Ah well...

I'm seeing growth everyone.

It wasn't too long ago that I would have been horribly upset by all this....and responded to her comments in a defensive tone. This time I just left it alone.

All I did this time was say, whatever you think. But you just don't understand....and that's okay.

So, this is growth for me. Serious and honest growth.

I feel really good about myself.

I'm not sure I understand why gay folks are so much more open about sexuality....and they feel free to send pictures of their genitalia to strangers on the internet....when they haven't really been requested. Or why someone thinks that pornographic ads in pop ups to gay people are acceptable. I'm no prude, but, I get so tired of having to defend myself. I'm not the typical gay guy.

This has gotten me into more trouble than I care to discuss. My family thinks I'm some sort of pervert because this invariably happens as they peer over my shoulders.

Lovey accused me of this very thing when I was visitng with her and her shrink one time. It wasn't pleasant because the more you try to explain, the less they try to believe.

Bummer.