Being a Good Dad vs Being a Good Gay Dad

My daughter is struggling with letting go and enjoying her time fully with Mr. Bodybuilder.

It hurts me a bit too because it involves me.

Mr. Bodybuilder is any girl's dream. He's handsome, strong, affectionate, attentive, caring, romantic, gentle, kind, etc. My daughter has said on more than one occasion that he reminds her a lot of me.

This is what bother's her about the relationship.

She doesn't want to have a gay signficant other.

When she first told me all this, I lightheartedly said, "Well, being gay isn't the worst thing in the world! After all, it's what makes me so loveable...dontcha think?"

She didn't like the humor.

To her this is serious business.

I can understand why.

She then went on to say that she has spoken of me to a lot of her friends who say they would give their eye teeth to have a dad like me. But, #2 thinks that the main difference is that I'm gay.

Well, from my perspective, and I explained this to her as gently as possible.

There is a lot of difference in being a good dad.....and being a gay dad. I mean, fathers can be first rate jerks -- gay or straight. The mere fact that I'm gay....and that my kids think I'm a great dad are two separate issues.

She doesn't seem to get it.

Somehow being gay makes me more sensitive to my daughters' needs....and less likely to think of them in sexual terms.

Says she.

I then responded by saying that not all dads think of their children in sexual terms...at least the healthy dads don't think that way. I also pointed out that I'm the same way with my son and although I'm "gay as a goose"...I certainly don't think of him in sexual terms.

I think I caught a glimmer of the fact that she was beginning to get the idea.

But still, I see this as a potential issue with her and the bodybuilder.

I really feel very good about this relationship she has with him. I feel very good about him and I think that he is the stuff that good sons-in-law are made of. I believe he is answer #1 to my long running prayer for good mates for each of my children.

I just hope she doesn't allow the fact of my being gay.....or the resemblances of me to Mr. Bodybuilder...or to anyone in fact, cause her to back away from someone with excellent potential as a life mate.

That would not make me very happy.