Yesterday I was out late because I did something I've not ever done before. I attended an AIDS benefit for one of those big AIDS organizations here in Northern Virginia. It was held at the Torpedo Factory which is located on the Alexandria Waterfront.
What a neat place.....AND a neat function. My favorite activity was watching the DC Cowboys, an all male hunky dance troup, strut their stuff!
My church was involved in it as well....and we all met at my favorite MEXICAN RESTAURANT prior to the event.
As I've said before, it's wonderful just spending time with the "Boys".
Hundreds of people were at the gathering. I milled around and mingled. I bumped into other church people who had gone to this event. I also ran into a number of other people that I knew from other organizations I'm involved with. So, I was not a wall flower.
But as I mingled with the masses, I was still taken by all the couples that were there. Everywhere I seemed to turn, there were couples......gay couples, lesbian couples, straight couples, etc.
That old familiar ache crept into my soul -- not a sexual lust, but rather the old familiar loneliness of feeling like the only single person there.
It's getting to be my constant companion these days and it scares me a bit. Why? Because I'm afraid that I'll want to jump at the "first thing" that comes along, which may not be the best thing. So, I'm trying to downplay the loneliness......the longing...the hoping....etc.
By the time I got home at midnight, I was totally worn out by the stress of it all.
This is so much harder than it seems it should be.
No comments:
Post a Comment