It's spring.
The weather has become a lot milder. All the trees are budding and the flowers are in the process of blooming.
It also seems that it is mating season.
Everywhere I turn, I see couples hand in hand walking everywhere: down the street, in the grocery store, at the mall, in the book store, along the river, under the cherry trees -- basically everywhere.
They are couples of every persuasion.....gay couples.....straight couples......older....younger........with kids.....without kids..... Literally everywhere!
Last night I worked late.....and stopped off at a restaurant for dinner -- alone.
Somehow it felt I had invaded a whole nest of couples. The place was literally filled.
As I ate and watched, some were discreet in their obvious affection for each other......some were blatant. Kisses were exchanged.......hands were heled.....goofy grins were made.
All there as I ate my dinner.
Over in an isolated corner was a man. He looked to be around my age....and he was not attractive in the least.... His clothing was disheveled....hair on the unkempt...and a bit on the greasy side. His face was pock marked.
But there he was....huddled up nice and cozy with a pretty young thing.
They were in another world unto themselves.
All this love in the air made me wonder:
"What's wrong with me? Why am I sitting here all alone? Why don't I have someone?"
I took a quick inventory of myself: I'm divorced. I've got a good job. I have my own house. I'm financially secure. I'm pretty drama free. I think I'm decent looking. (I'm no longer young and pretty -- just pretty! LOL.) I turn 50 in a couple of weeks. So clearly I'm not dead.
I don't get it.
I got up quickly paid my bill and left.
In a funk.
1 comment:
Well you're a braver man than me, Frank. I think if I was single, I wouldn't go to eat in a restaurant alone, after all those years of marriage. But maybe it taught you something and you learned about yourself. Just don't be so hard on yourself. You'll find a nice guy when you least expect it - just don't expect him to be "the one", you tend to rush things too much. At least you did in your mind with the bodybuilder and your daughter
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