Since going down this horrible journey called Divorce, I've noticed something else new about Lovey that heretofore I haven't written about.
It started a while ago, but appears to be growing....and I want to run out and blame myself.
She's taken up drinking.
Everything!
Years ago in our married lives, this was a no-no. A BIG no-no. It was something that we shunned. However, when she decided to return to the church of her youth, The United Methodist Church, she started taking sips, here and there.
But now I notice that in social settings she's starting to drink a lot more than "a few sips."
So, I want to run there and believe that had she not had a gay husband, she wouldn't have started this. I'm responsible.
Oh, I know that this is silly...and that I can't do that....but it haunts me a little.
It would do even more damage to me if she started drinking uncontrollably and become and alcoholic.
For now, I'm concerned and watchful.
But just how concerned can an ex-husband be?
2 comments:
Frank;
Of course you are concerned about changes in Lovey’s behavior; divorce changes your legal status, but people who are an intimate part of our lives stay that way no mater how the legal status changes. Never the less, while you may be concerned, you are not responsible for how someone else chooses to live, we do not have that power.
Now she may be just experimenting as you are with various aspects of her life, as indeed you are, and sometimes experiments do push against a boundary, that is how we find out where the boundaries are. And that may be a good thing for her right now. Or she may indeed be using alcohol to mask a feeling that she has not been able to process yet. Maybe, for example, there is some guilt in letting you go, or some other problem.
I would monitor this, and see if it resolves itself during the next year of so; she has been going through a lot of changes and stresses just like you have. Most likely it will take care of itself. If it does not, then you and your children can intervene, but that is a long way down the road. Free advice – use/discard at will.
Rick
Frank -
Her decision to drink is NOT based on your sexuality. If she continues to drink, it's NOT your responsibility.
That's my view, and I'm sticking to it.
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