Saturday, September 21, 2013

Settling as a Gay Man

Good morning you all.  Frank is back after a busy summer.  I've spent a number of days contemplating my journey and thinking about where I go from here.  Based on the last comment I received on this blog -- which by the way was quite negative, it was clear that the person did not get the purpose of this blog.  They also did not get the point that this blog has been about my journey -- good and bad -- unblemished.  It has been about things that affected me.  It was not scripted.  

It documents my struggles, my insecurities, my weaknesses.  

So my life has been far from perfect.  It is not a bunch of "croc" as has I have een accused of writing.  

The bottom line here is that I survived the journey from a heterosexual marriage.  The painful separation.  The divorce negotiations.  The finality of the ruling and steaming full steam into gay life as a single -- older -- gay man.

I have gone through having lots of anger...hatred....hurt...for a vairety of people.  But all those negative feelings have  setled.  I am truly happy.  I'm truly comfortable in my own skin.  I am gay, unapologetically so.  

As of this writing, I have joined a host of dating sites.  Not those hookup sites.  I'm not looking for a quick lay or hookup.  I'm looking for love, companionship over the long term.  I'm done with the sex parties...the promiscuous sex that early on I thought was a right of passage as a gay man.  I've since learned that this is not the case.  

I've receieved a number of great inquiries into my profile.  I've been on dates.  So, I may have what I have been seeking.  FINALLY.

I joined MATCH.COM not long ago.  I"ve had a number of views.   Met a lot of different people -- the majority of which have been far from what I would consider as my "match."

I met Ron on July 4 after he and I had been corresponding for a while.   He appeared attractive.  Although he spent the majority of our initial meeting trying to impress me with his accomplishments and his wealth, I agreed to meet him again.  At that meeting he kept looking at his watch because he had to be done by a certain time because his next date was due to start.  We parted company.  He then wroe to say that he and one of his other dates were off to the midwest and that they would be staying in a presidential suite....blah...blah....  Sorry that it didn't work out he said.  So that was that.

Kicked to the curb, I did some detective work about Ron.  Turns out that he lied about his age and circumstances.  So this worked out to my benefit.  A couple of weeks ago, he contacted me again to say that he wanted to date me.  I asked about his other "date" and he said that not everything is as it appears.  I agreed with him...and said thanks but no thanks.

A number of guys from thousands of miles away have expressed interest.  But for th elife of me, I don't think long distance relationships ever work out.  I'm not sure I want to expend the energy to try.

Then there wa the flight attendant based in California, but is moving back here.  Met him for dinner.  But I didn't feel the magic.  

Another candidate is a man that I have known for many, many years.  His husband and he have been going through a rough patch at the point of divorce.  I told my friend that we are adults....yes there is attraction, but I will not be the "other woman".  I will not be party to a divorce or the cause of a break up.  So I have left this situation alone.  Not heard  from these guys in three months.

So dating is an interesting proposition.  Especially for a an that has little experience in that realm.  I only dated my wife.  

So life continues.  But I'm definitely in a good place!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Richard said...

Howdy Frank periodically get to read your random postings & thoughts. You're making good progress and I think it's good on your on the various real dating sites, course it is a needle in haystack dilemma but then again - you're only looking for one needle for the game to end.

Keep at it and good luck. Don't mind the crazies who post comments (the world is full of them).

5:35 AM  
Blogger john said...

good luck with dating...yes, if you don't feel the magic, it won't work. The magic is important.

10:47 PM  
Blogger devid mark said...

I actually enjoyed reading through this posting. Many thanks.
Free dating sites, totally free dating sites, 100% free online dating, free single dating, free online dating

2:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home