On top of this, the poor eyesight played a huge factor in my loss of self-confidence. I couldn't drive. I honestly think it played a huge factor in my lack of esteem in the dating realm too. I couldn't see when men were expressing interest orr I missed cues that told me otherwise.
It was just a sad existence. I couldn't read. While I could watch TV, it was frustrating because it was like watching it through a very dirty and smudged window
Needless to say I am overjoyed.
Yesterday morning, Steven came over. Our schedules have been wacky, but yesterday turned out to be a very special day with him that taught me some valuable things. First, I was really glad to see him. When the doorbell rang and I could see this tall and beautiful man in his pale yellow polo shirt (my favorite) exhibiting that magnificent chest....aw I melted. Not from wanton lust...not from the carnal perspective. But, rather, it was from a place of genuine affection. I think my heart nearly went in to a-fib at the sight of this beautiful man.
Through the glass of the storm door, there he was, with his cute, boyish grin. I opened the door...and allowed him to come in.....shut it behind him...and there he was! I grabbed him...he grabbed me and kissed me tenderly. Then he held me close.
It was a very special moment.
I ushered him to the living room...and we cuddled on the couch and caught up...in between hugs, squeezes, and an occasional kiss.
We then drove to my church. It was his first time. It was my first time to attend with a special man. I didn't know quite how to act. I felt like a giddy teenager. I introduced him to several of my friends. Some of the ladies at my church whispered their approval.
We wandered into the sanctuary and found a seat. During the service, Steven would reach over and take my hand...give i a squeeze....then just tenderly hold it. Somewhere during the sermon, his hand released and his arm wrapped around my shoulder and he pulled me in close to him and there I was nestled into Steven's side. I felt like a dead battery that had just been put into a recharging unit...and I felt that surge...of reconstituted and refreshed energy.
Following the service, we decided to drive from Fairfax, VA into Washington DC to check out the National Gallery of Art. The boy knows his art...and I marveled at his knowledge and all that he taught me.
After several hours, we grew hungry. We found food and got a perfect table where we could sit and talk privately.
Keep in mind, dear friends, that dating is new to me. The only person I have ever dated was Lovey.
In gay terms, I come from a background of where guys want to first get naked, do the deed, get dressed and then, if you're lucky, they want to get to know you.
With Steven there is indeed a sexual chemistry. It transcends the "white hot" boiling chemistry that marks so many gay "relationships."
What we have surpasses all that. It has depth. It has all the traits of being something to last over the long haul.
We sat for an hour...and we talked about many issues. He even covered issues he said later, that were truly things he has never been able to discuss with anyone else. I did he same.
He and I met over 1 month ago. This is different, something real, warm and personal ignited. Sitting with him and talking about his hopes and dreams....and sharing my hopes and dreams -- all feel like coming home.
I'm enjoying the simple pleasures of the ride. Aw...the destination will take care of itself.
I am so thankful to have this beautiful man in my life.