The Holidays

Since Mom and Dad's passing in 2010 and 2011, the holidays have been very bittersweet for me. As I've gotten older, sadly I've learned what a spoiled brat I was, and still am to a certain degree. I'm an only child, and yes there are times when I still want everything to be all about me.

Me, me, me!

But I've also grown up to the knowledge that I'm not a selfish jerk...and as much as I want it to, the world is just not going to revolve just around me.

So, I've made it my life's mission to try and focus on others first. To make sure of their happiness. Their comfort. Their needs. In doing so, my needs are always met.

Today is my last day in the office until Monday. I have a lot of stuff to do next week and so while everyone else is on holiday, hopefully I can get all that stuff done.

I've spent a lot of time thinking as I prepared for this Christmas. I'm very happy that I get to spend time with all my children. The grandkids sadly will be with their respective mothers this year. So it will be me and my children. ALL of them. Lovey will be swooping through a considerable amount of time. So my family will all be together. The original 5 of us. Like it used to be when we were young.

Life was a bit less complicated in some ways....but then I suffered from the complication of a life in the closet. What a struggle that was and it clouded everything including the joy of parenting small children.

But I'm thankful that life for me is in a more settled place. But I still grow wistful on holidays such as this. I remember the past. I remember people.

But I'm so thankful for all the people I still have.



And, my, haven't we come a long way.

Lovey and I are "friendly."