Contentment

I know that I have been very bad lately and not written as I should. My life continues to be fast paced, and I must stay, highly enjoyable.

It's hard to believe that I have been writing this thing for three years now. If you are one of the faithful readers, you know that I have had my shares of ups and downs and that the life of a married gay man....going through the trauma of separation and divorce.....is not necessarily an easy one.

You have seen me whine.

You have heard me on the mountain top.

You have seen me in the valley low.

Still, I plod along and keep moving forward -- even when there have been times when I haven't felt like moving...or that I didn't have the energy to move one foot in front of the other.

But here I sit....three years later....and I have survived.

I am thankful. After all, I have learned so very much about myself. I think I am a better man for having gone through all this stuff -- pain and all.

So here is an update of the past few weeks.

First, Frank has a boyfriend. Yes, a full-fledged one. Not one of those fly-by-night varieties. Not the ones who are married.....and are part-time gay. Not the ones that are partnered and only want you to meet their physical needs. Not the ones that start out really hot....only to end in a blaze of glory and to return to a former love.

This is a living and breathing man who is interested in me. Warts, gray hair and all.

He is 36 years old.

He and I met through another friend when he was dating someone else. We became friends...and I found that the relationship he had been in fizzled -- big time. And, "we" just happened. He comes to my church and we sit and hold hands. It's so refreshing to be open and to be honest.

I don't have to hide anything....or feel like I must be ashamed of this relationship we have.

He and I have talked about things. We're not saying we're gonna move in together. We're not saying that we're running up to Massachusetts to get married. We're not even saying we are going to be life partners.....or that we are "in love".

We're just enjoying the time we have when we are together. He and I are very much alike in some ways. We think alike. We also enjoy our alone time. So we do not have to feel like we are joined at the hip. He says that I have the most energy of anyone else he has ever dated....and he struggles at times to keep up with me.

I find this highly amusing.

Me, the old guy, having more energy than the 36 year old!

Life is great.

This morning I got a card from my daughter in Nashville. It read in part,

"Anyway, I was thinking about you and about how content you seem to be these days, and I am so glad for you. Glad you walk regularly with folks on Saturday mornings, glad you are so active in your church and Bible Study, glad you're in a bowling group, and glad that you're challenged professionally! You have so many wonderful things happening in your life and I am so very proud! I love you."

So, I suppose that the word for today is "contentment."

I've become involved in a running club. Oh, don't get the wrong idea. I walk. It's fun. I've joined a bowling league composed of gays and lesbians. It's fun.

I'm active in my church.