Moving Merrily Along...

Who knew?

I was moving at such a rapid pace...and kind of expectant as to what was going to happen in my life next. After all, I have six gentlemen who have entered an orbit around me. They definitely were not there before. It kind of made me feel a bit giddy. BUT...I'm not able to share all this with any folks other than you all out there in cyberspace.

There is this great temptation to go after the first man who gives me any attention whatsoever. This is not a good thing. In following this trajectory, I see nothing but disaster.

I have begun to take better care of Frank....mentally and emotionally. This was shown in my recent dealings with SEX GOD. He called looking for action...and I'm feeling a bit used. I don't like feeling that way. Sure a fantastic romp in the hay is fun to do...but in the long run...what is left after the romping is done.

I told him what I was looking for. I told him that I was not into control queens. I want someone who is not afraid to let his affections show up in normal living. This poor guy is afraid that someone is going to find out that he and I have been "romping". I'm tired of the cloak and daggerish relaitonship we have...

I am not...and refuse to be....anyone's dirty little secret.

So between that......the fact that I spent time with K on Sunday.....and the fact that he and his wife and her companion all drink and drink and drink.... Well, even though I am attracted to him emotionally and physically....and if his wife dumps him tomorrow....I don't think he is the one for me....and thus will begin putting some distance between him and me.

Andy is still calling me. We talked on the phone for almost an hour yesterday. So he must really be liking me.

Dan is preoccupied with Scott.... I saw him briefly today....and he was behaving differently. Not ready to handle additional drama in my life right now. I have waaaay too much now.

Doable has not been around or communicated with me since he said I was doable.

And...dear Doug... Well, I've heard from him. But that can't go anywhere either.

So, I am starting back at square one.

Early Monday Morning

Here's a picture I took while I was at work this weekend photographing that floral design convention. Feel free to comment on what you think.

Much has happened in my life since that last posting I made. My MAC laptop croaked...so I had to splurge on a brand new computer. This time I opted for a desktop. It's a beauty. It's a 27inch I-Mac with one terabyte of storage capacity....and so much RAM...it flies through tasks I ask it to do.

I spent all day Friday, Saturday and a hunk of the day this weekend photographing a flower show in Fairfax. They provided all my meals....my lodging.....and my registration for the event....and I got to take a ton of pictures. It was certainly an interesting event to be part of. But all the flowers....the pollen...the fragrances...etc...sent me into an asthma overload. I have hacked and coughed all weekend long.

Another side benefit of the weekend was getting the opportunity to visit with my married friend, Doug. He's a floral designer...and just a wonderful person to be with. We laughed and got to spend some really special time together.

Late on Friday night, my world got a little bit complicated. A man that had served as my former pastor in my other life when I was a fundamentalist pentecostal was tragically murdered at the hand of his oldest son following a rather heated argument over something trivial. From what I have heard...and it never has been confirmed by the family...and probably won't, the young man has been battling his own demons for quite sometime. He's been diagnosed as being bi-polar...and on top of things, he is a gay man -- clearly something that his dad could not accept.

My pastor died on Monday....and now his son is charged with first-degree murder.

There is going to be a memorial service here in my area next Sunday. So, I am planning to go and be part of this...to offer whatever kind of support I can to the remaining family.

I was fairly close to my pastor. In fact, I served as the Chairman of the Board of Deacons during his tenure. It is a shock...and I am still unglued by it all.

While he was serving my church, the eldest son was always living out of the area....and they never seemed to talk about him much. My gaydar went off a number of times when I would get to see this boy....but it was never really confirmed until just now.

Tonight when I got settled back home....I was invited to dinner by my pal Greg the photographer. He was telling me all about his photoshoots....and I got to tell him about my adventures in the land of floral design....and flowers!

Dan appeared at my house tonight....and we got to visit and get caught up. "K" has sent me a ton of messages that I received on my Blackberry while I was at my photoshoot. Andy sent me an email just before he toddled on off to bed. I felt bad because I didn't get it until just now when I opened my email here on the computer. So I fired off a note to him fairly quickly. AND...I just noticed that Sex God has emailed me. (I just haven't had the energy to open that one.)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lovey is in town. She and her mother are headed off to the Netherlands tomorrow afternoon. My daughter and I are invited to breakfast with them first thing in the morning. She and I then have a swim date with Dan at a mutual friend's swimming pool.

So lots is happening. Lots has happened.

And I apologize to all of you dear and faithful readers for not being able to keep you updated while I was working my buns off over the weekend.

The Laptop Has Died

My trusty Mac Powerbook G4 died last night.

It has been my faithful companion now for 5 years...and I have certainly put it through all the paces over that time. We've created video together. We've managed my photo and music libraries together. I've composed my email on it. I established this blog on it.

And it is dead.

I have an appointment at the Apple Store this evening to see if it can be fixed. I am prepared to buy a new computer, but...gosh...I hate that this one has failed.

Life goes on...

A curious thing happened to me yesterday. I got an email from the kisser. (Henceforth known as "K".) (The married guy that wanted me to meet his mom....) He just wanted me to know that I was beautiful.

Never really considered myself in those terms before. Another hot guy told me I was "doable" last week....

I just wonder what all this means...or if he is even giving me a second thought. Well, I suppose he is giving me additional thoughts in order for him to write me... But I just wonder in what context he thinks of me....as a friend? as a partner? as a friend with benefits? Just what?

So, let's recap:

I have a number of really neat men in my life at the moment:

Dan - the man who likes pretending we are a couple....and who is looking for a partner with special qualities. His current partner, Scott, is not fitting the bill.

Andy - the cutey pie with the sweet and gentle temperament....with killer legs...powerful thighs....great chest.... He wants to go slow.

"K" - the man who is married and who likes to kiss me in front of his wife. I've become friends with the wife....I've met his mother.....and I've seen the new house. I've also learned his wife and he sleep in separate bedrooms.

Doug - the wonderful older man that is also married. We really enjoy spending time together. One of the last times we spent together, he announced that "I'm Dangerous" because I tempt him in ways that are frightening to him.

"Sex God" - the slightly younger man that only wants me around for sex. Now the sex is powerfully awesome...but I have pulled back from this relationship because I want/need more than just an intense romp in the hay.

"Doable" - the attractive man who pronounced me as "doable." Need I say more?

So, for all my bitching....there are men out there... I am blessed to have such men in my life. Many people in my situation would give their right arms to have one good guy.....but so far I have six potential men -- not counting Jake -- who I sitll have not heard from...

I'm just anxious to start something. I'm not getting younger. Dan, Andy, "K" or Doug would be great boyfriends. With my luck they will all probably step up to the plate all at once. Then how do I decide who the lucky man is going to be?

I am willing to take my time. I want this to be the best choice for me.