Ray Boltz is True

In case you haven't heard, Ray Boltz, the successful Christian Artist who sang such hits as "Thank You", "The Altar", and "The Anchor Holds" -- to name a few -- blew the door off his closet's hinges almost two years ago to the world. His revelation has set fundamentalist Christianity on its ear and as you could guess, that community is all atwitter with comments about how he wasn't a true Christian, or "isn't it awful that he has chosen this godless lifestyle", etc.

I suppose since I have walked in similar shoes as Mr. Boltz, I don't see this that way at all.

I see a True Christian who has labored to be faithful to his Lord and to his family, but in the process realized that he was falling short of the image he thought he had to live up to.

Fast forward two years and we now have a brand new album by the artist, simply entitled TRUE. He's being true to himself and living authentically. He's being authentic to his family.

This authenticity certainly shows in the album. By far it is my favorite and it touches on real issues like being who God meant you to be; don't listent to those who accuse gay folks like us of having an agenda, when all we want is to be happy and free to live our lives and our dreams. He even touches on gay bashing and on guys who are "Queens."

In all honesty, I always found his earlier work to be over the top and filled with all kinds of Christian cliches. I also thought they were a little lengthy. With 13 tracks on the current album, I find this album too short and wishing it were longer.

Oh, I'm sure the naysayers are gonna continue to expend a lot of their energy thumping their Bibles and casting Boltz into hell. My response is, let God be God and let Ray be Ray.

Ray Boltz is the real deal. His new authenticity shows in his music....and the cover of the album shows him today (see above).....his eyes look alive....and he looks happy....and blessed!

The album TRUE is available for download through I-Tunes! Go get it....NOW!

I'm Back After a Long Break!

It has been about two months since my last post. I apologize. I have gone through a somewhat dry period in my writing and I just needed a break.

My lack of writing new material has taken its toll on this blog as the number of visitors has plummeted. So, rather than erase my 4 year labor of love, I felt a nudge to begin writing here again.

I have entertained thoughts of writing a new blog from an entirely different perspective, but I just can't get away from the thought of rising "Out of the Ashes."

So, here I am.

My parents have been through the mill with their cancer. Each has lung cancer. Mom is in full remission and has been so for a year and a half. Dad was diagnosed in November...and it looks like he is going to be on chemo as a maintenance regimen for the rest of his life. In a couple of weeks, he will be undergoing cyber knife surgery to remove a tumor that has shrunk drastically since November.

I have so very much to be thankful for.

Meanwhile, my daughter Jessica has started a new job in Washington DC for the federal government. As you may remember, she returned from her Peace Corps duty in El Salvador almost a year ago. It has taken her that long to get this job. She is very thrilled.

On my front...yes, I am still gay. I continue to reach out and make new friends. And, I keep my eyes open for candidates as partners. In the meantime, I've met some people who at first blush seemed like the answers to my prayers. But, warning flags were raised when they started going down the bondage path.....or the erotic bowel movement path....etc.

I think you get the idea.

I don't know why it seems so hard in the gay world to find a regular guy for companionship....and for love -- plain and simple. The kind of love where you can grow old together and just experience the joys of day-to-day living. I have often fantasized about meeting someone where I can just sit and hold his hand in quiet moments. My favorite scenario is when I can be curled up on the couch with him and rest my head in his lap while we each read the Saturday or Sunday paper. Or plan trips to the beach...or just doing something fun. I would love for him to love my kids as his own.

I look around me and see people of every size and persuasions who have a special person in their lives and I suffer from private longing. I look at well known gay people who have just come out....and they already have partners! Chely Wright.....Ray Boltz......Jennifer Knapp all come to mind.

It makes me feel like screaming...."What in the world is wrong with me?"

But I plunge myself into my work.....or my church work.....or just the business of living. I put myself into groups of gay men all the time. I look around me and wonder....what it takes to find and to fall in love.

Oh....then there are the unspoken crushes. I see some guys that would be perfect boyfriend material. But I am just waaaaaaay tooooooooo shy to pursue it. I always wonder why I have to be the initiator.

So, I'm in a rut. I know this.

But I'm working on it.

In the meantime, I am trying to be satisfied with me. I am trying to like myself. I'm trying to enjoy my company and to keep busy. This goes a long way to combat the loneliness that sometimes threatens to sink me.

'nuff said for now.