Ready for Change
In this case, I have so yearned and longed for a man to be with and to live life with...and a few months ago, I felt like literally folding up my rainbow flag and putting it away because I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I always found those men who were not really what I wanted...or felt I deserved...and I wound up getting hurt -- badly, in the process.
Then Chris appears in my life. And as he and I have become further acquainted...and his job prospects brought him literally into my backyard....and to the point of him moving in....and the profound feelings we have for each other...well...unless you're gay....and have someone that loves you unconditionally -- warts and all -- you'll never understand. Given my gay orientation, I've often wondered if the way I'm feeling with Chris...and those strong and intensely personal feelings that I have for him, are what garden variety straight men feel for their girlfriends or wives.
I've just never felt this way about anyone. Not Stan....not Zach.....not Patrick....not Lee......
And certainly not Lovey.
But yet here are these feelings for Chris....that seem to wash over my in tidal waves of joy and anticipation.
It is so very hard for me to describe these feelings to anyone. Especially if you're not from a gay orientation.
So, Chris arrives at my house on Sunday afternoon. I'm taking off Monday to be with him and help him to get settled. He begins his new job on Tuesday.
We're both ready.....ready for this big CHANGE!