My Marine Sargeant son is still a handful...even at 24. I am told by those who know about such things that boys are fully mature emotionally and mentally at about the age of 25. I certainly can't wait for that to happen. I've been awaiting this moment for many, many years now.
Our relationship has always ebbed and flowed. We adopted him in 1991 when he was five years old. He already had faced a lifetime of trauma and rejection by then, including something that manifested itself as psychosocial dwarfism. This is what happens when a child misses all of the milestones in early development because of psychological trauma. Because of these issues, the growth shuts down and the child becomes stunted physically.
In our case, we got him in the nick of time. And at that moment.....on the growth charts, he went through a spurt. He virtually caught up over the course of his first year.
Emotionally it has been an uphill battle. Sometimes are good....sometimes are bad. When I came out to him at the age of 16 or so, it was bad. VERY bad....and that was thanks to Lovey -- the victim. She always knew what was best about my issue. But it has exacted a toll....a heavy one that I hope he can outgrow!
So, when he comes for a visit, I never know what to expect. Except that if he has a lot of dealings with Lovey and/or her family, he really behaves erratically.
Sorry to say, this trip has been Lovey-centered....and I am forced to face the fallout. He has spent an inordinate time with his friends here...staying out at all hours....and not communicating what is happening. Last night, I was disappointed that he would not be spending the last few hours in town were not with me. But, I knew this would happen.
He wants me to drive him to BWI Airport this morning to catch is 12:15 flight, but it will probably end up badly. He will probably have one of his friends drive him....and I will have taken time off for nothing.
But I'm doing what I feel dads must do.....you make sure you're available.
Just in case.
1 comment:
My very first sexual experience was with a married man. He seduced me (no complaints from this quarter.) I loved him very much. However, I did not continue the relationship because he was married with three children and I just didn't want to get involved. I did not want to be his "mistress."
A few years later I met another married man. I didn't know he was married until after we went to bed. I liked him A LOT. He was a naval officer. He told me he was staying in the Navy to limit the support he would have to pay his ex wife and young daughter. I remember a the time thinking I didn't want to get involved with a man who was obligated to pay support for his child until she was 18 years old. I know this sounds selfish on my part but it is what it is. I broke off the relationship. Perhaps this is the reason why you are not in a relationship. I think most men are like me, they just don't want to get involved with a married man. I wanted a life with him, not his former family.
It's late and I'm tired. I'll read more of your blogs tomorrow. I'm glad I found you. You're interesting. I feel a need to.....
Post a Comment