Friday, July 09, 2010

The Waiting Game

It’s Friday and this is my first day back in the office. It’s been quite a ride for these past few days…and yesterday I was in no mood to return. I did not sleep well in my own bed on my first night back. My mind was racing as I thought about my dad and how much he has lost ground since I last saw him in February.

It’s upsetting to see someone so full of life, shuffling…stoop-shouldered….nearly lifeless and gasping for air.

I’m still bothered by it all.

AND…in the back of my mind, I am remembering mother’s last series of chemotherapy. She was wiped out….but Dad was there for her. This time, if she goes through the same dose of chemo, Dad just is not able to care for her as he had been the last time. So, what am I gonna do?

Do I retire, sell my house, and move in with them?

Mom says, “It will all work out.”

But I am a planner. I need to have plan A, B & C ready with a host of contingencies if these all fail.

But I don’t….

Not in this case.

Yesterday Dad had a battery of blood work. They did the scan of his head to see if there is evidence of Cancer in his brain. Gosh I pray not.

So, today I am on pins and needles playing the waiting game.

I need to focus on my job now.

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