Again...

Who said being gay and trying to date is boring?

Well, I was all excited about "John." He was perfect...in so many ways. He really stirred me up...and I was strongly attracted to him....his presence....his attitude....his body. Aw...he would be perfect for me. AND on top of this he is two years older than me.

So, really, no fly by night kind of person at all.

BUT....there always seems to be one in dating.....

Yesterday he began texting me....fairly frequently throughout the day. It was friendly banter....and some of what he had to say got my hormones running amok....but I kept things in perspective. Clearly, he has lots on his mind....and I seem to made something of a profound impression on him.

But today he said that his first orientation is ladies....

Uh...huh....another one of "those."

So that pronouncement has rather put a damper on me. Perhaps it shouldn't...but it does. It means that he is bisexual...which is fine....but I'm hunting for a gay dude.....one that I can finally be his primary relationship....and not someone's second fiddle.

Been there...did that.

Most recently with Zach. For 12 years I did that with him...and I was just as guilty. He and I were both married to women...but we carried on like teenagers....with our wives blessing.... We had a long run. That breakup, coming on the heals of my divorce, nearly pushed me under. But I fought to stay afloat....and I succeeded.

So, I'm not excited at the prospect of going down that path again with John. Guess I'm going to go silent for a while with him. See what he says and does next. I just don't have the energy to respond to him right now. And as hot as he is...I don't want to be an option...I want to mean something.

So here I am ... again!

Same song, second verse.