I Need to Toss That Superman Suit

It just dawned on me that I have spent all my adult life trying to be Superman!

Somewhere over the course of my almost half a century being on the planet, I adopted this role. I thought of not being just a son, but I had to be the BEST son in all the world. I thought of not being just a student, but I had to be the best student in the whole darn school. I thought of not being just a husband, but I had to be the best one ever....even surpassing my childhood idol....Ward Cleaver. I thought of not be just an employee, but I had to be the best one.

And the list goes on and on and on and on......

Best church member.

Best friend.

Best father.

Best homeowner.

Best photographer.

Best teacher.

Best EVERYTHING!

And you know something?

I've experienced failure in each one of these roles. Not because I wanted to, but because that is how things worked out. It's just a part of the plan of things. None of us is perfect.

Now as the divorce continues to speed into memory.....I'm learning to relax and to try and not take things so personally.

Rejections come.....people get mad at you......and when it comes to gayness..... Well, not everyone is for everybody. So, even in this, I need to learn to experience rejection for what it is. Nothing personal.

It's kind of how I view coconuts and pineapples. Coconuts and pineapples are beautiful creations.

They're perfect.

The only problem is that I do not like coconuts or pineapples.

Nothing personal...just not my cup of tea.

So it is with gay men. Some like me....some don't. I don't have to change me in order for them to like me.

All I need to do is to be myself. Be happy. And by all means, I need to toss out that Superman costume.