A New Fear

The last few years have been filled with new situations and new problems to deal with. Each of these unknown items have caused fear to well up within me. But I've learned to deal with each issue as it has come and at least for now, I've passed each test with flying colors.

But now I am faced with a new fear.

And, if what I fear does comes to pass, I'm not so sure that I'm going to be able handle it so gracefully.

You see...I'm terribly afraid of my doorbell.

Why you may ask?

Well, because my son is stationed as Military Policeman in Iraq, I'm terrified that one day my doorbell is going to ring and there will be some uniformed people standing there to deliver news that my boy isn't going to be coming back.

Years ago I saw the movie "Saving Private Ryan." I will never forget the segment where the mother is standing in the kitchen of her farmhouse and she see the strange car approaching. The military representatives are coming to tell her of the deaths of her sons.

It's a stunning visual -- one that at the time I couldn't relate to. Of course, all my children, were children.

Now, though, I have a son in the military. He's stationed overseas during war time.

I think about him every day.

I pray.

I pray for him.

At the end, I always pray for my doorbell.

That it won't ring with bad news.