Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The Bed

So, the picture is of my NEW bed. It is the centerpiece of my new furniture I splurged on and had delivered this weekend. It's the first new bed and mattress I have had in about 25 years.

The old bed that I just ditched was purchased by Lovey and me when we moved into the townhouse that I still live in , back in 1992. It was solid OAK and had four very tall corner posts and an ornate headboard. It was a queen sized bed that stood far off the floor. I dare say that it could have accommodated an entire football team under there. In fact, it stood so high off the floor, my cocker spaniels had a hard time jumping up on that bed...and I had to make quite a leap to get into it.

That bed had lots of memories.

On Saturdays, my kids would come bursting into the room and pile into the bed. It was true family bonding time. They would watch TV in my room and sit on the bed...at the foot so that their feet were on the footboard. Small scratches and nicks adorn that footboard from all their "visits."

That bed also saw a lot of other action too. It saw me through two separate slut phases as I was navigating my self discovery as a gay man. Not sure why gay men go through this phase. I certainly wish I hadn't, but from what I've read, it seems fairly common. I've been with married men. Ministers. Policemen. Various military. Executives. Students. Those who have identified as gay, straight, and bi.

I learned who I was in that bed. I learned what I liked and what I didn't.

I fell in love in that bed too many times to count...only to have my heart broken.

Completely.

The contrasts are many.

I've felt ecstasy in that bed. I've felt excruciating pain in that bed. It was in that bed that Lovey lowered the boom on me on June 9, 2005 that started my journey as a single, frightened and lonely closeted gay man.

That bedroom furniture was the last remaining vestige of my time with Lovey. You see, when she left me finally in 2006 (following a year of separation under the same roof -- which I don't recommend), she cleaned out the house of ALL furniture -- except that bedroom furniture.

So it was time for me to release it. Time for me to get something that I liked and wanted for me. With Chris' arrival into my household, it was time for me to begin again. Clean. Fresh. New.

The only man I plan to have in that bed with me is Chris. The only person I plan to ever make love to in that bed is Chris. There'll be no hookups or lunchtime quickies with anyone else.

In other words...I've finally settled and grown up.

It's time.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Walter said...

This is a very intimate, poignant, and touching post. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal part of yourself with us.

2:46 PM  

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