Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My Balcony


I don’t know who said that the whole world is a stage, but as I get older, I have to agree with the concept.

If the whole world is a stage, then I’m the star of my life. My wife, children and dog are co-stars. Guest stars include “Lovey’s” sisters (all 3 of them), their husbands, their children, and Mother O’Lovey. Then there are those folks who make cameo appearances….who float into and out of my life periodically.

Finally there are those people who are in my balcony.

Residents of any balcony generally are the greatest distance from the stage. They are the ones you may see in the shadows of the spotlight. When the star appears, they are usually the first to applaud or provide cat-calls.

The ones in the balcony see the whole stage – the whole picture. Depending on the location of the balcony and select boxes, one may even see the actors preparing for their big entrance from stage left or stage right, just beyond the scenery.

Since I’ve begun to blog, I’ve learned that my balcony is filled with more people than I could have ever imagined. You, dear reader, are one of my balcony residents!

Lots of people have appeared unexpectedly and I’ve found that I have a number of what I call unexpected friends. They have written to me to provide insight and to provide feedback into areas of my life that have become jaded by my own preconceived notions.

My balcony is made up of many fellow travelers on this journey. They, along with their wives and other family members, know the heartbreak that the gay thing can bring into a marriage or relatively stable family life. Each person there has their own story….each unique…..but each strangely the same.

I’ve received so many wonderful comments of encouragement submitted here, and sent to me backchannel. It’s quite fulfilling to know that my writings are doing something rather than rattling around in cyberspace without any effect.

Still there are a number of you out there that I have not heard from, but still you still pass through my balcony. The reports I get from my blog tell me that I have readers in Indonesia, Jordan, Croatia, France, Britain, Mexico, Peru, Austin, and the like. It amazes me how the little journal I have been keeping for the past month and a half has taken wings and flown around the world!

To those fellow sojourners who have added my blog to the links section of their’s, thank you. I only hope that you know that I’m cheering you on from your balcony as well! The same holds true for those men who I have linked to.

I’m also amazed by the number of wives out there who continue to support your husbands through their journey. Today, I was moved to tears as I read a posting on Nate’s blog that his wife had left him as an anniversary gift. I’ve never had that. What a blessing it must be to Nate to have such support.

No one ever promised us that life would be easy or fair. Those of us who struggle with the gay thing know all too well that the complications of being gay and the strain on our marriages aren’t fun. But I do understand from all that I have read, and from the people I have talked to who have come through to the other side that things do get better.

For this I thankfully look forward to.

In the meantime, I keep pushing forward and watching the smiles of those people I can see way up there in my balcony!



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