Normally I am a very conscientious man about all that do. I'm a perfectionist and at times I drive myself crazy in my quest for doing everything well or at least to the best of my abilities.
This transcends every aspect of my life. I've alluded to this in some earlier postings because this is why I had some of the problems with the breakup of the marriage that I had. I didn't just want to have a marriage, but it had to be the perfect one....and I had to be the perfect husband...inspite of the major flaw I have...and that was being a gay man in a straight marriage.
I do not recommend that kind of life for anyone -- no matter what pressures you face or how much you want to "change." It just doesn't work and you will circumvent a lot of pain and suffering if you don't marry in the first place.
But I digress.
My perfection extends to the chore of paying my bills.
Some background:
In the closing years of the marriage, Lovey went through money like water. She would not think twice about going shopping on a given Saturday to the local thrift shop. She'd drag in all manner of junk and sometimes spend to the tune of $500 or more! This was all in the name of finding bargains and "saving money."
She wouldn't consult the balance in the checkbook.
She just expected the money to always be there. (I suppose Jesus was always standing by at the ready to rush to the bank and make a deposit to cover these expenditures....at least in her mind.) In reality, it was me who was always juggling funds....robbing Peter to pay Paul and the 12 Disciples. Then she would nail me for credit card bills.
Throughout the marriage, she never acknowledged the fact that it was she who bounced checks right and left or spent money.....or sank our credit rating.
It was AWFUL!
VERY AWFUL!
I'll never forget just how happy and excited I was the day she was taken off my bank accounts and credit accounts!
I've managed my funds....and not bounced a single check ever since!
I'm meticulous about my bills....and through my hard work, I've worked to improve my credit rating...and to bounce back from the brink of financial ruin.
The divorce was an expensive proposition....the legal bills......buying needed furniture......etc. But it is all coming together...FINALLY.
So imagine my chagrine when I received an automated call from my mortgage company last night informing me that my mortgage payment for June had not yet been received! I panicked.....this couldn't be.
But I hadn't.
I haven't any ideas how I missed it. It totally escapes me.
The month before, I had forgotten my car payment!
The only explanation that I can figure is that these past two months have been very busy with my birthday celebration and the return of my son from Iraq and then turning around and getting him to Ft. Worth!
I guess I was just way too focused on my children....and all my other activities.
I just hope it isn't the onset of Alzheimer's....
1 comment:
I have all my bills planned out a month ahead of time. I even have have the due dates marked on my MS Outlook calendar 5 days prior to their actual due date, so I mail them out in plenty of time.
I also pay 90% of my bills online through their respective websites. I have found this especially usefully if a bill slipped by. I could still pay it, if I catch it early enough, and still have it marked "on-time".
Like you my financial situation was HORRIBLE. Since my ex worked 2 jobs (I am on disability), whenever she asked for something, I couldn't refuse, and let her know that since she paid the bill she could make the decision if we could afford it. I trusted her and never questioned her.
Well, long story, shore...
During the divorce I found out we were $40k in the hole!!! Needless to say we had to file for bankruptcy.
After the divorce, I become OBSESSIVE about my bills and within 2 years I was able to obtain a mortgage and buy a house. Grant it, it had an adjustable rate, but I was able to refi the next year for a 30 year straight.
Not bad for 3 years after a bankruptcy if I do say so myself! Not to mention the fact I was able to get rid of that horrible adjustable rate provision!
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