Sunday, January 20, 2013

Church Today

I was in a much better frame of mind today. THANK GOD! It's always good to enjoy church surrounded by your friends. Last week's funk was gone....but I got little twinges of sadness today.

When I got former bf was there (he's coming to church a lot more frequently now that he has a new bf I see). He was seated next to his new man of the hour....and I thought about turning around and going home. It truly pains me. Never thought I would feel that way about a long dead relationship. But it truly hurts. I guess because I remember how he used to sit close to me in church....have his arm around me like he was this morning. Holding close....etc....etc.

Those were good days.

So I found a seat behind two of my best lesbian friends ever. They blocked my view of him and him.

It helped greatly.

I am what is referred to as a communion minister at church. This means that after people have dipped their wafer into the cup of grape juice, they come to us for special prayers and blessings. Today I was asked to serve and I never turn it down.

So there I was at the front of the church. I prayed with a multitude of people....and near the end...who is standing before me for prayer and blessing? ex-bf and his bf.

I couldn't run.

I couldn't hide.

Although I was tempted to do both.

So, what did I do?

I opened my arms broadly.......and welcomed them both with a broad smile. I suppose I'm a candidate for a really big gold star when I get to heaven! LOL!

Seriously, it hurt.....and whatever the hurt it pride...or something else, I sucked it all up and prayed for them singly...and as a couple...that God would direct their path. My ex-bf had his head nestled on my right shoulder.....and the bf was at my left shoulder....a little more of a reserved distance between us. When the AMEN was said, I received pecks on the cheek from both.

I made it through!


One of my friends came up to me afterward to say that my grace was showing and it was incredible. The friend did not think that they would have been so graceful at such a moment.

I guess God knows what He is doing...

I certainly don't know.


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