Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Miscellaneous Thoughts

I'm a member of a number of online discussion groups. All of them concern being gay and male....and yes...gay and married. Over the years I have made a host friends who are married and dealing with the issue. Some are out to their wives. Some are not. They make these decisions based on their own reasons. I am in no position to criticize or advise them of the best way they should handle their journey.

It's just all so very interesting.

It's diverse.

Even though they have a lot in common with me...in terms of being gay. The approach they choose is as vast as the stars in the heavens.

Today a couple of discussions caught my eye.

One in particular advised the men to never trust a single gay man. "Only consort with married gay men." The thinking surrounding this pronouncement is that you only deal with those men who have as much to lose as you do.


There is nothing magical for one married man to only deal with other married men. Married guys can be broken vessels just like anyone else. They can be psychos. They can out you just as well as anyone else.

They can black mail.

I decided to comment on this post and say all of the above.

My one question to the group was "What's wrong with getting to know someone first before dropping trou? I find that dropping trou is so much better when there is a knowledge and comfort and yes, some emotion behind it...and if you are doing it out of a relationship....whether it be casual friendship...or something deeper."

Well, my comments have not generate much discussion. So, I wait and see.

The second conversation topic that caught my eye today was whether men kiss.

It has always fascinated me that there are some men who refuse to kiss. It's too intimate they say. This is after, of course, they have licked your spleen and your more southern regions.

Why is that?

To me, kissing is a deal breaker. If a guy won't kiss you during the act...why bother. I want to feel that connection...and frankly, kissing is like completing a circuit within me. It gets me going in ways that I can't explain.

There is a right way and a wrong way to kiss old Frank here.

During my experiementation phase after Lovey ditched me, I explored all male sex parties. I always played safe and to be honest, I really enjoyed watching more than participating.

One day in particular, I was lying on a vacant bed enjoying all the activity surrounding me. Men of all shapes and sizes were paired off and enjoying each other. I noticed that there was a lot of mechanical sex happening. This is the kind of stuff that happens when two men are in lust with each other and it is primarily about getting to orgasm. Once its over, they wipe off...go shower....get dressed and leave. Basically without a word.

Still others click in a magical way. I've seen some great relationships/love stories begin at these gatherings. It's amazing. As far as these guys are concerned, they are the only two in attendance. They only have eyes for each other and that's the only people they are there for.

Then there are those who are just willing to pile on....or drop to their knees....or physically connect with someone just to stick themselves into a warm and inviting orifice--just to get off.

This one particular day, I was a mere observer. All of a sudden, one of the latter -- a very tiny asian guy decided to actually hop on me to take me for a spin. No inquiry...not attempt to see if I were interested. In his mind I would be the perfect person to get him off.

He also assumed wrongly that I would be turned on if he were to begin kissing me in a way that Lassie might introduce herself -- with a wet tongue licking my face...my cheeks......my ears......my chest......my underarms.


I politely told him that I was "resting" and needed a break. He finally took the hint and attacked some other poor soul.

I was totally grossed out.

At the same party, another man gingerly approached me. He was a few years my junior...and he asked if he could sit on the loveseat with me. He was a cute man....and so my type. I was totally captivated and immesnely touched that he reached over and stroke my hand. Very sweetly....and gently. He then began to gently rub my shoulders....touch my face..... Then he leaned in and kissed me. Warmly....gently.....closed mouth..... He certainly knew what he was doing. As our passions began to rise.....he held me close......the kissing became more intense......and as this happened.....mouths opened in unison....and tongues joined.

It was so intense. So warm. So passionate.

For those few moments, I felt as if I were the only man in the world....and for that few moments I was the center of this man's universe.

As the session continued....we progressed to other stuff that men can do for each other (no need to describe all the gory details)....but suffice it to say that he and I both reached total climaxes in relatively short order.

Instead of him wiping off....jumping up....and leaving....he continued to hold me....to kiss me tenderly....and I eagerly returned the favor. I could have been there entangled with him for hours...but alas he had to leave....and he was married with kids.


But that taught me something. There is something wonderful about taking one's time....and allowing feelings to grow. Allowing passions to rise.

I can't help but long for someone such as this for a partner....or as a bf.....or as a potential mate.

If I could find someone of this calibre, you would see one happy FRANK.

FRANK would be intensely happy. That man, whoever he is, would be on cloud 9.

I am not saying that sex is the only thing I am basing things on. But I'm saying that having those needs fulfilled by one man....who is comfortable with himself....who can let go and not be afraid to express passion and deep affection for another man is well on his way to become my dream guy.



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