Clearing the Air

I am learning so much about myself. It’s amazing to reflect and see how I handle stress and how I handle conflict.

Early on in this blog I kept talking about how I felt like I had been misrepresented; that I was being portrayed inaccurately by Lovey, but that there was no really effective way for me to go about changing perspectives.

I decided to just suck it all up and keep moving forward. Let everyone think that I am the ogre.

It’s funny how things work out ultimately and how that I have been put into situations since that have allowed me to comment on my feelings and how things went down from my perspective.

Another case happened last night.

Mom O’Lovey decided to care for my cocker spaniel, Davy, while I traveled to WV this weekend with Brokeback to pick up my parents. They’re going to be spending about a week and a half with me for Thanksgiving. So, I’m very excited about it.

When I took the dog down to Mom O’Lovey’s house, she invited me to stay for dinner with her and her sister. I agreed.

We had a lovely time.

She kept making comments about my parents coming down to join her and Lovey and all the other sisters and brothers-in-law for Thanksgiving. I let it drop.

Finally when it came time to leave, she again made those comments and I finally took her aside and explained why that wouldn’t be a good idea.

“I’m not sure if you know this or not Mom, but my parents have some really significant issues with your daughter.”

“Oh?” Mom O’Lovey said.

“Yes,” I answered. I then explained the fact that during the marriage there were 8 significant deaths in my parent’s families, and Lovey – the good reverend, did not one time offer condolences, a call, a card, or her presence.

“That all spoke volumes to my mother and father,” I said. “Then when you couple in the fact that she never came to any reunions and there were some relatives she had never met, well, my parents are extremely hurt and feel very unloved…and therefore, it would be for the best, if they not be forced into a social situation with Lovey, if it can be helped.”

Mom O’Lovey immediately understood. She shook her head because she was totally unaware of all this. I then shared some other things to set the record straight….that apparently cast new light on some of the tales that Lovey had told about “that awful man she had been married to.”

My comments, weighed carefully and spoken in quiet tones carried a lot of weight with Mom O’Lovey. She sighed and shook her head because there was a lot she hadn’t heard.

I felt very relieved at having the opportunity to clear the air.

It was a long time coming.

Mom O’Lovey realizes that I am not necessarily the evil ogre I was originally portrayed as being.