I got to be with Lovey waaaaaaaaay too much over this holiday weekend!
She rode with me up to the Baltimore Airport to pick up #2. She then wanted #2 to stay with her at her mother's house, which #2 did twice. She also had agreed to go shopping with #2 first thing on Black Friday (this is why #2 chose to stay there on Thanksgiving night), but then backed out at the very last minute. #2 was totally furious for her mom not wanting to spend the time with her.
She then got really livid, when Lovey got mad at her for not wanting to have lunch with her on Friday....before she was scheduled to return to her home in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley on Friday afternoon. Actually, Lovey didn't get around to leaving her mother's until Saturday morning.....after all she has always been the world's number one procrastinator!
Not only did I get to see and hear Lovey all the way to the airport and back, but it just so happened that she sat herself right next to me at Thanksgiving Dinner at her mother's house. (Yes, I was invited...and for the sake of my daughter, I did go!)
Go figure.
She kept making all these snide little comments about the fact that my mom probably would never want to see her again. (She's right.) Or, how she wishes she had the type of relationship with my mother that I have with her's. (I ignored that one.) Or the one I liked best is when Lovey's mother made a comment about the fact the my parents were coming to her house for lunch on Saturday, Lovey said, "Well, I'll be safely gone by then!) (Thank God!)
I'm not sure why she seems so desperate to have a relationship with my parents. In 25 years of marriage, it wasn't that important to her.
Hmmmm.
All during the dinner and afterwards, I took some really great family pictures. I did this primarily for Lovey's mother. Whenever she saw me with the camera, Lovey would ask, "Have you gotten any good ones of me?"
A might self absorbed I'd say.
The one thing that really bothers me though is the fact that #2 was feeling like she was in the middle. Her mom was really good at putting her there and then making her feel guilty.
I told #2 that for Christmas, I just want her to do whatever she feels necessary to make her happy. The rest of us will be tickled to death!
I hate divorce....especially my own.
But, I'm also thankful that Lovey is far, far away in her own pad.
I'm now able to live in peace.
Happy Belated Thanksgiving!
2 comments:
Frank, so much about our ex's are similar. Mine was soooo sad that she couldn't keep up a relationship with my sisters (my mother has passed away). Ironically, my ex hadn't had much of a relationship before, so why she cared, I don't know.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I've been reading your blog for some time now, and I just can't hold it inside any longer. You will never feel better and get on with your life until you put your past behind you. Stop hanging out with your former in-laws (at least for the present) and your ex-wife. Your children are grown and living in other cities (other countries even). If they can't deal with the fact that their parents are divorced and have moved on to different lives, that's their issue -- not yours. This is exactly what your life will be like if you continue putting yourself in this situation. Stop thinking of everyone else, and start thinking of yourself. The only one who can make things better is you. Last, but not least, I think you should seriously think about getting into therapy. You'11 be amazed at how much better you feel.
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