Loving People

I find that I have a tremendous love for people, in general.

I love gay people in particular.

I enjoy hearing their coming out stories....and if they are partnered or have been partnered, how they met, etc.

Yesterday at lunch bunch (the group that I serve as host for from my church -- each Sunday after church, we meet at a local restaurant and share a meal together. It helps us to get to know each other.) I sat next to an elderly woman that I have admired from afar, but not really quite gotten to know. She has a lovely British accent and I knew that she had been partnered for a while, but her partner had passed away a few years ago.

Lunch was a delight. We laughed and carried on and shared a host of stories. Turns out that Dianne (that's her name), was born and raised in South Africa. She spent her formative years there and shuttled to and from England. She was a nurse and told me her coming out story...and how she met her partner -- another nurse in 1967 in England. Her partner was American...and that is how she wound up here in Northern Virginia. Her one regret is that in the process of hooking up with her partner....she had to ditch a previous partner....and ow painful that all was. As it turned out, the previous partner married and had children....but died young from cancer. But in the end...everyone was happy.

I suppose that's what the bottom line is of life....is to figure out what those things are in your life that make you happy....or complete you.....and then go for it.

In the wee hours of the morning as I lay awake on my bed, I wonder what it takes to make me happy. I have everything I could ask for materially. I guess the one thing that would make me ecstatic at the moment would be for me to win the lottery and pay off all my bills! Then, to have a special someone in my life.

This weekend I ave been asked a few times about what it is that I look for in a man. Here is what I said. I prefaced it by saying that while the list of requirements sounds like I am narcissistic, it really isn't. You see, I'm not looking for anything from anyone that I'm not prepared to give in return. So, with all that said, here is my list:

1. I want a man who will accept me for being me -- not for what he thinks I should be...or what he wants me to be. Just someone who will take me at face value...and to love me unconditionally.

2. I want to matter to someone. I don't want to be anyone's leftovers....or their afterthoughts. I don't want to be his dirty little secret...where he is afraid to let other know about "us." I want to be the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. I want him to think about me during the day. I want him to pick up the telephone and call me during the day....or to send me email.

3. I want him to be romantic.....and yes, someone that enjoys sex -- no hangups... Someone who has an adventurous streak...an element of creativity -- a man that is not afraid to be affectionate appropriately in public....and in private.

4. I want someone who knows how to laugh....at himself....with others... and possesses an easygoing personality. Someone who can be flexible and is not whiny.

5. I want someone that is not afraid to have a lively discussion or to disagree....

6. I want someone that I can respect and to honor. Someone who has a degree of spirituality.

7. I want someone who has a love of the beach.....travel.....antiques...old cars....junk stores....photography.....world affairs....exploring new places......

8. Finally a person who is his own man...dependable....not co-dependent....warm...loving...a strong presence...and a man who loves kids.....maybe even has some of his own.....or perhaps he will come to love mine.

Perhaps I am too picky....but I dream for this guy....and can hardly wait for him to be revealed!