It’s getting darker…the clouds are gathering – the wind is picking up speed – the thunder is rumbling, with occasional deep booms – the lightening is flickering – the rain is beginning to sting my eyes.
Why do things like this have to happen in life – especially my life?
I never envisioned being alone at this stage of my life.
Was the empty nest stage of life meant to be experienced ALONE?
I suppose for me it was.
When my twin daughters left for college over four years ago, I thought my heart would rip out of my chest. Who would have known that just over four years later, I would be facing one of my “little girls” leaving for parts unknown, for an extended period of time, and I’d be left ALONE. Well, sort of. After all I still have my cocker spaniel, Davy Dawg.
But, I’ve been used to having a family in the house…making the house an almost living and breathing entity with the constant chatter, laughter, and petty arguments. I was used to having “Lovey” around. She’d float through from time-to-time on her way to a church function, or a ministry function, or a class at school.
All just a memory!
Do I sound a bit depressed today?
Yes, I am.
All this stuff is converging on me at once. Almost like “The Perfect Storm.”
My daughter is leaving…..the separation agreement may be finalized…..
These items get to me….and as I have said, it doesn’t take much to make my tears, (that always seem to be just below the surface) explode volcano-like into my consciousness.
It’s painful….very painful. I know. I know. I feel like Bette Davis. Yeah, I’m a drama queen!
I’m a single gay man….I should be intensely happy about my “freedom”….I should be experiencing all the Mr. Rights until I find Mr. Right-Now.
But, no….I’m hurting...
The waves are just too big right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment