Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Spectre of AIDS

AIDS has never really been in my thoughts very much.

I've really not done anything really risky. The only AIDS test I have taken came back negative.

So, I've been careful. VERY careful.

You have to be in this day and time.

But today AIDS became a reality in my life.

I've been conversing with a guy online for a while. We decided to meet for breakfast.

He is divorced. Has 4 adult kids and is around my age.

We decided to meet at a nearby McDonalds...very early today. He is a super guy and attractive. He wanted to know about my life...about my past relationships....how my divorce is going.....how I knew I was gay....

I asked him a lot of questions about his marriage....and his past relationships.

Then he told me, "I want to be up front with you. I'm HIV positive."

I caught my breath.

This is the first time I've been confronted with HIV...up close and personal. Oh, I've had a few acquaintances that were HIV positive...but I've not had any of them to look me straight in the eye and tell me. I've always learned it second or third hand and it was kind of a closet sort of thing. They never discussed it...even though we all knew....

But this time we talked about it.

He's had two long term relationships since being diagnosed. Those guys still are negative... We talked for two whole hours and it felt like I had known him forever.

So this opens up a whole new thinking process for me.

What do I do if I am confronted with a partner with HIV? Do I run shrieking in the other direction? If I ever have a partner with HIV, do I take a vow of chastity? If I begin dating guys....do I eliminate the HIV population? Do I want to run the risk of getting hurt from their illness and possible death from it?

What do I do if I ever become HIV positive?

Being gay just got even harder.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As Ann Landers might have said, wake up and smell the coffee. That said, HIV status/Aids is still with us, and every responsible gay man should know all he can about how it is contracted, and then make informed decisions on how to act sexually. Although it is not the death sentence it once was, it is still a life-changing disease that can and should be avoided by responsible sexual practices. It does not diminish relationships on its own, but still carries an enormous amount of baggage in terms of understanding the disease.

Be informed, be safe.