The Right Path

My introspection continues...

Last night, I had dinner with a gay military officer. Yes, he is active duty... He and I had a wonderful time. Over the course of the evening we discussed what kind of work we do. I was amazed to find out that my friend is a psychiatrist.

He was so easy to talk to.

We talked....and we laughed.

He was great.

As we talked, he said that he could tell that I have been through a lot....but he wanted me to know that he believed that I was dealing with my issues in a very healthy way. He predicts that by the end of the summer I should be at a new....and very good place in my emotional reconstruction.

I thanked him.....and said that it was a relief to hear that from a mental health professional, because for a few days in the not too distant past, I thought I was beginning to lose it.

I then asked if I could tell him a bit of my story...and if he would tell me his thoughts.

He said that he would be glad to listen and to provide any input he felt necessary.

"Out with it," he said.

So, I gave him the condensed story.....of my separation and my life with Lovey.

Do you know what he had to say about me?

He said, what has been told to me by two other mental health professionals: "You have all the classic symptoms of being an abused spouse."

Confirmation #3.

This, and the fact that I keep analyzing my past....and some of the issues I've discussed in this blog during the past week or so, I'm in agreement with this pronouncement. I also find that the hurts and the feelings of inadequacy I've struggled with are beginning to change.

I'm feeling more confident in myself.

I am not the person I thought I was for so many years.

I'm not dysfunctional.

I'm not damaged goods.

I'm not ugly.

I'm not unable to be happy with myself.

I'm a person of worth.....who has a lot to offer the world.....

and it is not determined and I am not defined by Lovey!

I'm a great guy....and all I need to do is to relax.....breathe......

I'm on the right path....for me.