Some Days Are Diamonds

At times I feel so edgy. I mean, I feel on edge and I have the urge to keep looking over my shoulder. Looking for the next calamity or misfortune. I suppose if you re-read the blog for this past year you can probably understand why I feel this way.

Here's a partial list:

1. The separation agreement in limbo.
2. My wife accusing me of everything except being God's child.
3. June 20, 2006
4. My mother's cancer.
5. The big basement flood.
6. My son's arrest.
7. #1's move to El Salvador
8. My feelings of emptiness and aloneness.
9. Lovey's outting of me to her attorney for no real good reason.
10. My dad's cataract surgery.
11. My dad's mini-strokes and their damage.

OUCH.

And there are more things I could add....lots more. But I don't want to depress you further. Heck, it depresses me....and makes me sad.

So here I am....getting ready to call it a day and crawl into my bed.

I feel like that old John Denver song, "Some days are diamonds.....some days are stone."

I just don't understand me....or why some days are good while others are really bad...or why do I get so depressed.

I guess it's my psyche just trying to sort things out. This is quite an adjustment guys. Not only am I dealing with the empty nest syndrome big time, but I have one child who is best described as being estranged from me, a soon-to-be ex-wife that I want nothing to do with...and a group of inlaws that have nothing to do with me.

As an only child I spent many days alone. But in my marriage, I found that I had an instant family....always calling....or we were always dropping by.......or we had the kids.....and swamped with soccer, baseball, basketball, scouts.....etc. Something was always happening in my house.

Now that has all changed.

It's quiet.

I'm alone with my dog.

Quite an adjustment.