Spousal Support

I’ve just finished writing Lovey’s spousal support check for April. This is check #2.

What a waste of money….my only consolation is that I have a tax write-off. This is a good thing. Every cloud does have a silver lining!

My next little ray of sunshine is the fact that I get about $70,000 from her retirement funds to rollover into mine. At least I get some compensation from her to equalize our retirement accounts. At one of her several jobs, she had a rather generous employer who sweetened her retirement accounts. On the date of separation, (2 years ago), she had more money in her retirement accounts than I had in mine. Thus, the $70,000 dollar switch to me.

It really has bothered her to part with this sum of money…..plus the interest over the past two years.

The good news is that the $70,000 will grow over the next few years and add significantly to my retirement living!

Another silver lining.

So, as my finances settle over the next few months, I can hold onto these rays of sunshine!

Still, I can’t understand why it took Lovey so long to settle. At the end of the process, she didn’t like were the fact that: 1) I was entitled to reserve my right for alimony in the event my financial picture changes and that I had to have that language incorporated into our agreement, and 2) that I was legally entitled to interest on the $70,000 from June 9, 2005.

I also don’t understand why she felt it necessary to “out” me to her attorney near the end of this process….given the fact that she has been adamant that my gayness is not the reason for the divorce.

Perhaps this is all about her anger/resentment about my gayness?

Lovey reminds me of the author Terry McMillan.. She’s the writer of “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” and “Waiting to Exhale.” McMillan and her former husband have been waging a hateful divorce and other legal actions stemming from his disclosure to her that he is gay. She has been hurling hateful insults his way ever since….even so far as to refer to him as her “little fag.” She’s angry and it shows. (see www.thesmokinggun.com)

So, this would explain a lot of the change I’ve seen in Lovey – her personality….her behavior ….her pettiness.