Tuesday, March 04, 2008

And the Rains Came...

It's nearly my bed time here in Alexandria, Virginia and what an evening this is!

I'm curled up in my big comfy bed.....all tucked in....and my dog, Davy is at my feet already dead to the world....snoring up a storm. Meanwhile, the raining is literally pouring outside -- hitting the window panes....and a steady roar is being made as it hits my roof. Somehow, the sound of the rain is making me feel quite content and safe tonight.

So, before I turned out the lights, I thought I'd update my blog. Wireless and secure home networks are so great!

There is no doubt about it...I am doing so very much better emotionally. It's been almost a year since the divorce was final....and shortly it will be two years since Lovey moved out.

It feels so good to be able to communicate with you, my readers....

To marvel in the stillness of the night....

To relax beneath the roar of heavy rains hitting my roof.....

In quiet solitude...no arguments....no one in tears because they didn't get their way: no awkward silences following harsh words. No slamming doors.

I'm just trying to figure out what my next plans should be.....where I should be focusing my energies....my talents.....my affections.

It's really quite exciting.

But enough of all that. Let me tell you some of the other stories I need to share.

First, Lovey returned from her visit with my daughter in El Salvador. She and #1 had a wonderful time by the looks of things and from what I heard about it. I hope they genuinely had fun.

Upon her return on Monday, a week ago, Lovey had to be rushed to a nearby hospital because of some female issues. She spent the night in the hospital. She then spent the rest of the week at her Mother's...just down the street from me.

She was set to leave on Friday, when she had to be taken back to the hospital because of something else....which I kind of perceive as something a little more minor.... She spent that night again with her mother.

Saturday night when I took the car out to her house....I noticed how bad she actually looked. It concerned me. But, because we are now divorced...it does no good for me to say anything about her appearance....or comment on her physical condition..... In the words of my children, they fear that any comment made will only reinforce attention getting behavior on her part. The kids all believe that their mother is somewhat of a hypochondriac.

I must confess that at times I have thought this to be true.

I sat and looked around at her house. It's a lonely and cold place. If I were still married to her and was required to live in that house...I would go crazy. Plain and simple. Piles of paper and books everywhere....it's a clone of how this house looked when she lived here. The aroma of cat urine permeated the place too.

But Lovey tells everyone how happy she is and this is what counts.

Today a very strange thing happened.

I came home at lunch time to get some stuff together for the president of my homeowners association. I grabbed it....and got into my car...and drove it around the corner to drop off at her house. After I parked the car......I turned to gather up the stuff....I turned to open my door....and a car pulled into the space directly next to the one I was in.

It was Lovey.

She said, "I was driving by your house and happened to see your car backing out of the driveway, and I thought I'd come the other way and say hello."

She still doesn't look well.

She went on to say that she has had a slew of medical appointments today....and that she's having some test performed on Thursday.....and a colonoscopy in the next little while.

Since I hadn't had lunch, I invited her to go with me to a little restaurant near where we lived when we were together. She jumped at the chance. So she continued to talk about all her physical maladies.

I just listened.

I kind of get the impression that she isn't as happy as she would like for all of us to believe.

Just now she sent me an email thanking me for lunch.....and telling me how good it was to "touch base" with me.

Given the way that she continues to initiate contact.....I must not be the evil person she once told me I was....

It's quiet here....the rains continue to come.......

My cocker spaniel is snoring loudly.....

It's time for me to turn out the light.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Frank;
You are correct, you are not a bad person; and deep down I am sure that Lovey has always known that. Neither, I am sure, is she a bad person; and deep down I am sure that you have always known that. As my wife and I have often stated since I came out to her, we are both doing the best that we can in a rotten situation. But we are both human and that means we are both a mixture of positives and negatives, also stresses amplify those attributes. Some couples can continue to live together in a mixed orientation marriage; others need to live separately – just like many adult children need to separate from their parents. I see no tragedy in living independently; but I do see tragedy in the seeming need that many seem to have to demonize and pick fights with those they previously held dear so that they can justify the separation.

Rick

Unknown said...

Good night, Frank.

I love it to when it is raining hard and I'm cozy at home.

Good writing and glad things are well with you.