Thursday, March 27, 2008

The REAL Me: Warts and All

I have said many times here that the purpose of this blog is for me to put down my thoughts...pure and unvarnished. Not edited or airbrushed to make me look my best.

I'm gay.

I'm divorced.

I've had issues.

AND, I still have more issues to deal with than TIME magazine!

So, I'm struggling at the moment with a trivial issue.

Here goes:

I'm working on throwing myself a smashing 50th Birthday Party! The date is May 3rd (my birthday is actually May 1st). I'm gonna have an open house beginning at noon and lasting until 5:00.

So far the guest list will total nearly 100 people -- gay and straight. It's going to be a rather symbolic affair for me. It's the official kickoff of my brand new and happy life. It's the beginning of the second half of my life. It's also the start of more fun in my life. I will be surrounded by some old friends who have stuck by my side during my awful period. I'll have a host of friends from my office. I'll have my "gang" from church.

It's going to be quite an affair.

It will be at MY house. MY house will look like a million bucks because I'm going to work my hardest between now and then to have everything clean and organized.

A couple of my children may be there.

My parents are coming. Maybe more of my relatives will show too.

So, what's the "issue"?

Last September on our way down to see the Marine off to Iraq, Lovey made a point of saying that this is going to be the year of my 50th Birthday. "If you have something," she said, "I hope you'll remember to include me."

Now, this is the woman who threw quite a bash for herself on her 50th. She wrestled control of it from me....(we were still married then). She issued invitations that read more like an obitiuary. She didn't acknowledge my 49th in any way, shape or form.

But she said she wants to be invited to my 50th.

As an after thought, she said: "Darn, that week I'll be out of town for General Conference so I won't be able to come."

Last week she said that her plans had changed and that she wasn't going to the General Conference after all, "So, I'll be around," she announced.

Hint. Hint.

The issue really is, do I want her there?

Each of the kids don't think I should.

If I don't I'll never hear the end of it.

Down deep....there is a part of me that wants her there.....just to let her know that I've got a good life now. I have friends. I have a beautiful home. I'm okay and I've settled nicely.

There is life after LOVEY!

For once, I'd like to rub her nose in it.

Isn't that awful?

I told you that this blog is unvarnished and you're seeing the evil Frank at work.

What to do?

3 comments:

Rev. David Eck said...

Brother, follow your heart. It seems to me that your 50th is going to be a day of celebration. Anyone who runs the risk of diminishing your joy on that day should not be invited. I remember when my partner & I had our commitment ceremony. His family is Southern Baptist and we told them it was our special day. They were welcome to come but we didn't want to spend the day worrying about whether they were offended or not. We told them if they chose not come, we'd love them anyway. Long story short, some attended. Some did not. We had a great day and so should you!! I know it's a different situation but the spirit is the same.

Blessings! P.S. I've linked your blog to mine.

Bigg said...

Being a little evil myself, I can't help advising you to invite her and then make a point of making out with someone. In front of her. I know it's mean... But it's really what's best for both of you...!

Vic Mansfield said...

Invite her, but don't let her presence dominate. If she starts something, excuse yourself and move to the other room.

Invite her, but make sure she knows this is your day, and she'd better behave herself. She'll say "What do you mean by that." You say, "You'll figure it out." And leave it at that.

Also, Bigg's horrendous, awful, tasteless suggestion sounds inviting! LOL