It's late on Sunday night and I am in a deep, dark place.
Where did all this come from? Why am I like this?
Is it a biological/chemical thing that my body is going through? Is it the weather? Is it because I'm outted now to Mr. Bodybuilder? Is it because I have such a BIG crush on the mystery man at church and down deep I know it cannot develop into anything because he is partnered?
I hate this.
After I got in so late this evening from my friend's house and seeing his beautiful granddaughter, I found that emotionallly I was quite drained. I just curled up in my rec room with my dog and watched two gay themed movies on the LOGO TV network. Both were romantic comedies involving gay couples.
It lifted my spirits.
Then I watched an old aircraft carrier get sunk as an artificial reef on the Discovery Channel.
It doesn't take much to amuse me.
Perhaps my problem is that I'm just throwing myself one gigantic pity party. I'm feeling old. I'm feeling fat. I'm feeling undesireable. I'm feeling quite alone.
Do you suppose that this is as good as it will get for me as I grow older?
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