Thursday, April 24, 2008

Several Giant Steps Backward!

I had a long talk with one of my coworkers today. She went through a painful divorce four years ago and had been married for 18 years.

She said that it was the most traumatic thing she has ever had to face....and that here, four years later, is she just now getting back to her "old self."

Well, I was feeling kind of smug about my on life when she was telling me about hers. I mean, here I sat, (I told myself) after over 25 years of marriage.....divorced for almost one.....and doing rather well....feeling foxy.....looking forward to turning 50 years old.


So I listened to all she said with interest....and kept silent.

When I got home this evening....all hell broke loose.

I received my first birthday card. It read:

"Happy 50th! Welcome to the club!" Then, in handwriting that I know all too well was written: "May 1, 2008. Dear Frank, I hope that the fifties and future decades are kind to you. You deserve it! Fondly, Lovey"

I really wish she hadn't done that.

It sent me into a tailspin....that certainly brought me to reality fairly quickly... I'm certainly not smug about where I am in my life after divorce after that.

It's as if she stabbed me with a sharp two edged knife....jammed it into me....and then for effect twisted it back and forth several times.

Now I'm left to bleed out all over everything....

It hurts.


Why did she do that?


Anonymous Nate said...

It really sucks, I can give you one big hug just to make you feel a bit better.
Still I can't figure out myself why when things look so perfect, there's someone to suck the joy.
Hope soon you find something/someone to cheer you up.
Btw thanks a lot for that Cinderella (song) link, I got a very weird feeling down in my heart when I heard it for the first time and now I cant stop listening to it. Luckily my baby girl is too young to worry about those moments but sigh she will be gone one day (hopefully not that soon). So tonight I let her share the bed with us and she's so sweet even if she kicks endlessly.
Take care of yourself!

5:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mate,
I share a journey similiar to yours, though I am not as far along as what you are.

I enjoy reading your posts, thanks for sharing all of this with those of us on a simliar road.


12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, I don't know what she mean't but maybe it is her way of acknowledging what "was".

12:25 AM  

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